The Dean Dsouza Mindset

When I was struggling with depression multiple times, the days I couldn’t get myself out of bed, there was one affirmation that stuck with me. A series of words that will remind me that what I’m feeling is temporary, and give me hope that I have come out of it before and can do it again.

Routine is what will save you.



Some people find religion, and some escape to drugs, but I discovered the power of a routine. My mind is quite a chaotic place - it bounces from thought to thought all the time, and at every given moment, there are a myriad of things I should be doing that I simply do not strategize the time for.

I never really considered a routine until we went into lockdown in 2020. The first few months were a lot of fun, doing what I wanted, and living how I wanted. But eventually, the days just started blending into each other. There was no morning, noon, or night; there was just a free-flowing stream of quantum soup.

That is dangerous. The creation of time, as a concept for humans, came through sentience. Animals rarely need a sense of time because they live in the moment. They awake when the sun rises and do what they must to survive until the sun sets. Then they repeat it all again.

Man is different - we discovered purpose, we discovered conscience, we invented tools and technologies and languages. All to show that time isn’t as meaningless as our evolutionary standpoint made it to be. Once we stopped living for survival and moved towards living for a purpose, time was a non-negotiable.

So where does routine come into this?

Well, if you subscribe to the notion that our body is basically a well-oiled machine, then you would agree that the best way to keep a machine running is a good system. Routines are essentially built out as a system for your body, mind, and emotions to follow.

And if there’s one thing your body loves, its structure.

Don’t believe me?

Take a look at any internal operation within our human body. It's so complex, but extremely well-structured. Everything has a task to do, and a time to do it, and that's why the job gets done. The blood flows a certain way, the heart pumps it a certain way, the food moves from up to down.

When you give your body a system to follow, your body will genuinely thank you. And herein was born the idea of a routine. As I started dabbling in routines, I captured some of my observations on what makes a routine successful.

Routines require a certain amount of adaptability or flexibility.


The average Joe would consider routine as a nice, structured layout of tasks, set to be completed at designated times. And once you can figure out those tasks, it looks like you’ve found a win, right?

Well, one of the biggest shocks I received when playing with routine, is that it doesn’t stay as rock-sold as I’d like it to be. Over the last 2 years, I’ve lived all over the place, on couches and sublets, with family and roommates, hostels and hotels. There were phases in my life where I spent the week in 3 different time zones. And what such a change of environment taught me, is that you can’t rely on the same kind of routine.

Even if you don’t move around so much, life does change. Seasons change, circumstances change, lifestyle changes. And with all this, your routine must change too. If you get too stuck on one routine, any minor changes will set you off. Finding a good routine takes time, but don’t be disheartened if it doesn’t last. The key is to hold on to the best parts of it, and move forward.

Routines can be addictive


When you think of some of the best feelings you’ve experienced, the amazing euphorias of sexual climax or the relaxing highs of a good bowl or a satisfying feeling of a delicious meal, let me tell you - nothing compares to the feeling of accomplishment from a completed routine.
That’s why I keep coming back.
When you taste the high of progress, and the power it gives you, you will want more. I’ve felt it. The sheer difference in my mental energy when I stuck to my routine is unparalleled. Once you develop a taste for it, a craving to stay accomplished will soon follow.

Routines can cause a dependency


One of the tradeoffs of building a routine, and genuinely sticking to it, is that you gradually become dependent on them. Your mental energy is channelled through the success of your routine, and any deviation from it will lead to immense guilt.

Since my mornings are so carefully scheduled, If I wake up late one morning, I get antsy. I feel annoyed and frustrated and crappy through the day. This is an issue in itself, and one that I’m actively working on, but do be warned that with any addiction, you do face a dependency.

A good routine is built from experimentation


To clarify that statement, no one else's routine will work for you. A routine is unique to its individual, since it dependent on your body type, mood, lifestyle, and ambitions. It also depends on what you’re trying to achieve - Healthy eating habits? Sleep cycle? Big projects? Your routine will vary.

Routines usually start when you craft them from a forum, blog, self-help guru or influencer. You notice some tips offered and identify one that will work for you, so you implement it. If you do this enough, you will eventually find a commonality.

Example: When I first started building a morning routine, I noticed that 4 out of the 5 sources I researched, suggested drinking warm lemon water as soon as I wake up. And so, it became part of my routine. I don’t need to know the minutiae of why it's beneficial, as long as I knew that a majority of users swore by it.

Your routine will start off from the backs of others, until you eventually practise it enough to add your own little tweaks. Maybe you like a little honey with your warm water in the morning; that a new step in the routine that came from you.

In the end, a successful routine will be a mishmash of different habits from different sources, that you don’t necessarily know why you’re doing, but you continue to do them because they work for you.

Routines constantly evolve


A follow-up from the previous point is to accept that a good routine will undergo constant variation and failure. Building a strong and sustainable routine takes time; your mind and body need to adjust to something different, even if you know it's good for you. There is no one-size-fits-all. You may spend a month doing something, only to realize it doesn’t work for you. Or you may really enjoy a habit, until you undergo a lifestyle change, that doesn’t allow for it to continue.

Regardless, routines have this strange tendency of being rock solid through the change. Once I added yoga to my morning routine, it has become a constant. Doesn’t matter if I wake up at 4 am or 7 am, I will most likely start my morning with yoga.

That's how a good routine works - if you genuinely enjoy it, you will find a way to make it happen.

Overall, my various routines are genuinely been a saving grace in my ever chaotic life. As I mentioned above, my body appreciates a good system.

And sometimes I do beat myself up if I can’t find a routine to stick, but it does give my overactive mind something to focus on. It has helped me tremendously with my mental and physical health, and to build a sense of discipline. It feels safe and comforting, while also pushing my limits in a healthy way. And most of all, it feels like an accomplishment. One that I want to continue to maintain. Every day of our lives, we are on the verge of making slight changes that could make a difference to our future. All we need to do is identify the right ones, and keep them consistent.